Sinus Rinse Me Jesus

It was Sunday morning and, as has been happening since we brought home our precious, however challenging three-yr-old daughter from India, I had hit my weekend breakdown. Our daughter's psychologist gently described it as my chance to let go, decompress and release after holding on for a full week once my husband was able to participate full time. I saw it more as a me losing my mind, but whatever.

We were walking the very short distance from our home to

church and tears were beginning to stream down my face. I had already had to tell both of my sons to find different shirts (amidst grumbling of course), turn my daughter's dress around, locate everyone's shoes, find the checkbook, the diaper bag and diapers for the diaper bag then snap at my husband for leaving me to "do it all." Thoughts of the past week and my areas of failure crept into my mind and anxieties of the upcoming week swirled around and around as well. My steps towards the church slowed and gradually I stopped, looked at my husband and whispered, "I can't do it this week," while shaking my head. I had only recently returned to church and had begun lying in the back pew as an autoimmune disease I have causes far too much pain for me to sit through an entire sermon. I was excited to try to resume our old routine of church together on Sunday morning but today I couldn't bear the thought of dozens of faces and questions.

Seeing my tears and knowing my weekend state the past couple of months, my husband gave me a hug and released me to return home. He told me he loved me and that I was a good mom, bless his heart. And through a blur of tears I walked home to my black lab mix Nana who waited me with wagging tail and upbeat spirit.

In an effort to make myself feel human, I washed my face and then did a nasal rinse using my Yeti Pot. (Yes, you read that right. It's a knock off of a Neti Pot and as an avid Yeti lover, how could I resist?). For reasons, some known some unknown, I suffer from chronic sinus problems so almost always have a cold or sinus infection so my Yeti Pot and I are almost inseperable. So much so that I had to explain to it why I didn't feel it prudent to bring it along to India when we picked up our daughter... I mean what water would I actually use to rinse with? Anyway, for those of you who may not know, a Neti Pot (or Yeti Pot) is a small tea pot looking thing that you fill with a salt water solution, and pour into one nostril. The saltwater makes it's way through your sinuses and pushes out the yukky, nasty stuff that I will leave you to picture in your own minds either through the other nostril or into the tissue you blow your nose into Perhaps a little gross but ultimately helpful!

Following the cleansing ritual, my faithful dog Nana and I went for a slow, worshipful walk where I vowed to not let me mind linger on the "what if's" and "why nots" but rather to try to see God and worship Him in everything I saw. I praised him in the beautiful spring trees filled with pink and white flowers. I praised him in the brightest green our state Michigan ever sees in the grass. I praised him as the tulips were out in full force, in many varied colors and sizes. I praised him for my patient husband and my children. For my many amazing friends who have surrounded me in so many ways. I praised him for the ability to go for a walk, something I am not always able to do, and I praised him for so much more. I tried to center my thoughts, breath and energy on HIM.

During this walk, about the time I rounded the mausoleum at the cemetery near our home, this strange thought came to me. I need God to sinus rinse me. I need Him to remove from me all of the nasty, filthy areas of my life so that I can be purified. Primarily, I need His truths to pour through my body, spirit and soul and push out all of the lies Satan has been so diligently whispering in my ear for such a long time.



When I hear the lie, "Your sickness keeps you from being a good enough mommy," I need to cling to the scripture:

Romans 8:28 For we that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose

or Philippians 1:6 Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus

Or when the horrible lies that I am alone and on no one understands may I saturate myself in the truth:

Hebrews 4: 15-16 For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with out weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way just as we are - yet he did not sin. Let us then approach God's throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

Or when I hear Satan whispering that God hates me. How could He love me if I am left in such a humble state?

 Ephesians 3:17-19 And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power... to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love and Christ and ti know this love and surpasses knowledge..."
 
Or doubts about God's presence in my life? Has he forgotten me? Those fears can be pushed out by:

Isaiah 46:34 You whom I have upheld since your birth, and carried since you were born. Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and rescue you.

or Romans 8:31b If God is for us, who can be against us?

Or the horrible but sometimes unnerving lie that others would be better if I would somehow cease to exist

Psalm 118 I will not die but live, and will proclaim what the Lord has done


I need God's truths to rinse out and push out all of the nasty, gunk that Satan is doing His best to bog down my mind with. I need to keep myself grounded in God's truths and allow them to flow not just on me but in me. It may be a gross image, pushing out the undesirables from the sinus cavity,
But is there anything more disturbing than Satan's lies? Sinus rinse me, God! Flush out the lies and fill me with health, truth and Your love!